As I write this post, I have also finished my first semester of college. The way I would like to describe this situation is very complex. It’s as if you are free falling from a plane. There is no professional skydiver supporting you, no straps to guide you, and most definitely, no parachute to protect you from the impact of the land beneath you. That’s the scary part though. There is nothing below you and you are suspended in air as if trapped in time. No place to go and even in most cases, no one to help guide you along the journey that is college.
To begin the summary of all that I have experienced, I will break it down in five ways as best as I can. The five being: Education, Social Activities, Mental State, Procrastination, and You. These five themes are just some of what defined me as what I’ve experienced as a freshman in college. Do I like all I’ve done? Have I changed as a person? What will happen to me in the second semester? Can I overcome what I experienced in the first semester? My mind has ranged from happy to sad thoughts as I’ve joined the college life and truly, I can only hope it gets better from here on out.
- Education – There were many days where I wanted to quit. I didn’t like what I was doing and I’d prefer it if I dropped out of college. The thing with some people, they tend to focus on other people’s happiness more than their own. Yet, they say that’s not good. We know it’s not, but it’s hard to break habits. I am one of those people. If I were to drop out of college, where would all that work from the past year go? What would I do? I feel as though I would be disappointing numerous amounts of people. Still, it’s about me and my wants. To the spring semester, I hope you teach me to focus on my happiness and not others. It may be a long shot, but I hope you teach me more.
- Social Activities – Now, I’m not going to write this and say I didn’t make friends. I did, but not anyone I can certainly click with right away. Someone I can divulge my secrets to, laugh with more, and explore what college has to offer. After having a change in circumstances my senior year, I’ve felt alone in a way, but there were still people in my life. For that, I thank them for wanting to put up with me. However, through this process, I’ve learned that it’s certainly okay to be alone and to explore who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go from there on out. Next semester, I will take you by the reins and know that this is my life to control. I just hope I continue to remember to love myself in the process. Yourself and family are the one true people who will remain with you, despite all difficulties.
- Mental State – I cried a lot. I will not deny that, but to those who may or may not read this, it’s okay to cry. You are a human being and we as humans, have emotions that need to be let out sometimes. There were days where as I’ve said, I’ve felt completely alone even though I was in a crowded room. All colleges, as far as I know, have a Mental Health building. I’ve walked into my school’s on multiple occasions without actually talking to someone because I was wondering did I really need it? What if I’m just overreacting? But that shouldn’t be the case on any occasion. If you want to talk to someone, and you feel that you cannot talk to anyone, go to that building. Maybe I’ll be brave enough next semester to do that when I need to and if not, I hope you have the confidence and understanding for you to go in there and face it head on. Self-love is the most important factor a person can go through.
- Procrastination – Simple. If you love what you are doing, continue forth with it. The work will be hard at the moment, but once you look back, you could feel so much better about how much potential you have. We all have potential. I know I do. I just wish I tried as hard as I knew I could because things may have worked out better for me. Just remember, make time for yourself and don’t overwork your limit. We all have one and need to take that into consideration. Imagine all the greatness you can look back on once you work for what your heart desires.
- You – To the person reading this: whether you are in college, preparing for college, or note even in college, even though this post was very quick and possibly vague, I hope you take something from this. Remember, you are you because of what you’ve experienced in the past. In the present, stay true to yourself because you deserve so much more and don’t let college stop you from finding out what you want in life. You will change as a person, but that’s okay. You will have to learn how to adapt to those changes. For the future, you will look back on all this. It may not have been something you liked doing and maybe it was something you loved doing. Know there are certain points in your life which this will all connect to somehow. Grades, numbers, and people do not define who you are. What you do as a person and what you love of yourself is all that matters.
So, thank you first semester of college. I have seven more to go and I certainly hope I don’t give up now because I know I am made of so much more than the sum of my parts. I want to grow and experience who I am as a person. Thank you for doing that for me so far and despite all of the dread in the fall semester, I know if I give up now I won’t be able to see what is in store for me.
Here we go.