“We accept the love we think we deserve.” – The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Growing up I’ve always been the one where friends would come to me for relationship advice. Ironically, I have been single my whole life so I don’t really know how that works out. They’ve asked me about what they should do, what do I think is going wrong, and how they should approach the one they have a crush on.
Yet here I am having no relationship experience whatsoever. I like to think of myself as someone who gives decent advice and no matter what situation I am in with a friend, whether in an argument or not, I look after their wellbeing because I care about their mental and emotional stability. I try to be supportive regardless.
However, one thing I’ve noticed from a distance about a relationship is how much a person can hurt the other and they still go back to the person. I used to believe that they were foolish because they can’t possibly be willing to let that other person in their life after how they made them feel? Boy, was I wrong when I made that assumption. From hearing others perspective on why they did what they did and from reading books talking about relationships, my mind has come to an understanding however hard it may be.
Like the quote from this opening blog post, people accept the love in which they believe is right for them. A person could be hurt ten times over, but they believe there is hope and there is nothing wrong with hope. However, hope even with a positive connotation can be misleading.
The realization in which a person can be in a harming relationship is not because they don’t see themselves with anyone else but that one, but because they can love a person so much it would possibly hurt just as much to leave them despite it all.
This idea that a person needs to be constantly surrounded by a significant other from fear of losing the other is not uncommon. Some believe they need another one to justify their feelings. They need another to prove just how much they are cared for and how much they matter.
Like I said, I don’t know much about relationships, but from what I gather I don’t blame them. Of course, there haven’t been times where I’ve decided on what a relationship would be like with another, but from years of experiencing what others have faced, do I really want to witness the painful truths behind a relationship?
There are good and there are bad. All relationships have their difficulties, but what causes a person to go back to the one who has treated them so unfairly? Is it because of fear of being alone or left behind? Fear of not ever having someone in their lives again?
However, we are given this life to witness all things given to us so there can’t be only one person to replicate their love for you and show that they are the one. It may never be the first or there may never be one that will show you what you truly deserve. At the end of the day though, there is you.
You know yourself more than anyone else does, despite how questionable that may seem it’s pretty much true. You know what you are thinking and feeling.
Maybe I’m completely wrong though, this is what I’ve only observed and this blog’s purpose is to only clear my mind and what I’m thinking. I know these words cannot justify the real reasons and I’m not saying they are meant to do that. At the end of this though, to those who are questioning whether they are making the right decision or not, I want you to know that you are worth more than what another human can do for you or make you feel.
You have the true love and respect within yourself to make you feel good. I hope you find that within you.